Soulmates and Twin Flames: There is no “One and Only”

What is a soulmate?

When it comes to romantic relationships, the popular understanding of a soulmate is that it is a specific person in this world who is meant “just for you”. In order to be perfectly happy “forever after”, you need to find and marry this person. Included in the concept of a soulmate is that once this person enters your life, he or she will stay with you until the end. How do you know a partner wasn’t your soulmate? Simple: she broke up with you and moved on.

Issues with the Soulmate concept

This popularized idea of a soulmate brings up some issues and causes a considerable amount of confusion. First of all, there are a questions that are difficult to answer:

  • How do you find your soulmate?
  • What if you never find him/her?
  • How do you know if your current spouse is your soulmate?
  • What if you soulmate dies before you find him/her?

In addition to such questions, the “one and only” soulmate concept can potentially cause harm.

For instance, it’s possible to use the concept of soulmate as an excuse for explaining why a person isn’t happy in current relationship. I.e.: “It’s not a happy marriage because he is not my soulmate”. Or the soulmate idea is used as an excuse for not entering a relationship. “I just haven’t found the right person yet”. And on and on.

Your true soulmates

The vast majority of people on earth identify with their (temporary) egos instead of their permanent “higher” selves. To use an analogy: it as somewhat like a person who is driving a car, and at some point starts to believe that he is the car instead of the driver. Only once the car “dies” or is totaled in an accident does the driver wake up to the fact that the car was not who he was. In truth, we are actually parts of eternal souls, which are not affected by the death of the “vehicle” (i.e. physical body) that the soul was driving.

However, the idea that we are actually a soul is a bit simplistic. During the “Fall of Man”, spirits (which are esoterically known as “monads”) divided into pieces called souls. The souls further divided into pieces called “soul extensions”. So when we talk about our souls, we are really referring to the piece of a soul (i.e. soul extension) to which our bodies are attached.

When a person finds a companion that he or she considers is a soulmate, that person could likely be a soul extension from the same soul or spirit group. Another possibility is that the person is a soul extension with whom there is an established “karmic relationship”. In other words, these two soul extensions have had relationships with each other in many previous lives. For the remainder of this article, a “soulmate” will be regarded as any of the possibilities mentioned above (i.e. either extensions from the same soul or spirit group, or two soul extensions from a karmic relationship).

What are Twin Flames?

As many people already recognize, a soulmate is not necessarily a potential partner for romantic relationships. There is also the possibility of having a soulmate who is a friend or relative. In general, this soulmate is a person with whom you feel a special and strong connection to your whole life. For instance, a grandmother might feel a much closer bond to one of her grandchildren over all others, with no logical explanation as to why this would be the case.

In contrast to a soulmate, a “twin flame” is supposedly someone who is a direct opposite of yourself, and who may move in and out of your life more than one time. A twin flame is “always” an intense romantic relationship, but also one that can be extremely volatile and unstable.

The simplistic explanation of twin flames is that they are two halves of a soul that has divided itself. But as we have seen above, souls are divided into multiple pieces, not just two. To better understand twin flames, it must first be taken into account that at the spirit level, there is a very good balance of the masculine and feminine energy. Due to this, half the soul extensions from a monad will potentially incarnate as males, and the other half as females.

But the separation of spirits into souls and further into soul extensions is not clean cut. Think about a pizza that is first divided into eight pieces, and then some of the toppings are switched. This is basically what happens with the soul split, so there isn’t usually a such thing as a direct opposite at the soul extension level.

Regardless, twin flames are the result of two incarnated soul extensions that are the most direct opposite of all extensions in the soul group. The greater that the soul extensions directly oppose of each other, the higher the attraction between the two will be.

Choosing a partner

Twin flames do not always incarnate together in each life. Therefore, it is not necessary to go searching for one, or to panic if such a person is not in your life. Keep in mind that if this person is supposed to show up in your life, he or she will. And even still, either partner can choose not to have a relationship with the other due to free will.

Also, it isn’t necessary to worry about a twin flame in the spirit world being jealous if you partner with someone other than your twin flame while on Earth. A twin flame (at the spiritual level) will not get jealous.

Who we ultimately choose to partner with is a matter of choice. Although it is possible that one’s twin flame will provide the most engaging and romantic relationship, it may not necessarily be the most healthy.

Also, there isn’t just one person out there that is intended for you. As is somewhat humorously noted in the book Creating Union(1): “the universe isn’t that inefficient”. Instead, during our lifetimes there will be multiple opportunities to find and meet potential partners who will be good choices for our own and our partner’s spiritual development. Whether or not we choose to act on those opportunities is completely up to us.

Updated on 04 April 2019


  • Janet McClure. Prelude to Ascension: Tools for Transformation. Light Technology Publishing. 1996.
  • (1)Eva Pierrakos . Creating Union: The Essence of Intimate Relationship. Pathwork Press. 2016.
  • Kate Rose. The Phenomenon & Meaning of 11:11: The Twin Flame Connection. Elephant Journal.
  • Joshua David Stone. The Complete Ascension Manual: How to Achieve Ascension in This Lifetime. Light Technology Publishing. 2004.