Avoiding Conflicts With Your Boss

I recently had a client who was having conflicts with his boss at work. In short, his boss had recently asked him to do something that seemed ridiculous, and my client was upset. As a result, he was using all of his willpower not to send back an angry response.

How not to get Fired

In a previous career working in an office environment, I once worked on a small team where everyone but myself was fired within 3 years. I used to joke to coworkers that I could write a book on how to keep a job. But a book isn’t necessary, because the strategy is amazingly simple.

When you are working for another person, you only have one responsibility: to do what your boss asks you to do. When I tell people this, the reaction is generally very negative. “How can I do what my boss wants when he asks me to do this or that?” is something I hear all the time. Simple: because this is what you are getting paid to do.

Why should a person be offended when told to do something that seems stupid, or counterproductive? It simply doesn’t matter: all that matters is that you do what the boss wants. You don’t have to agree with it. You don’t have to believe in it. And you don’t have to think that it will produce positive results. You just have to say “Yes Boss” and get the job done.

Busy Work

Once I was given a tedious assignment at work that took an entire week. Due to years’ of experience with similar projects, I knew when I got the assignment that it was literally “a waste of time”. Sure enough, the next week I was told to undo everything I had done the previous week. It wasn’t a problem. I just chuckled and did what I was asked. And everyone was happy.

Some people might find this logic troubling. After all, how could I be happy about spending days on an assignment that produced nothing? But this isn’t true. The result for me is that I did exactly what the boss asked. That was my task, and I accomplished it. My boss, on the other hand, accomplished nothing. That wasn’t my responsibility, that was his.

There is no need to take personal offense at “dumb” assignments. The next time this happens to you, try a little experiment. Instead of complaining to the boss, simply laugh to yourself at how silly the assignment is. And then smile and say “Yes boss” and get the job done. It’s so simple. The result is the same, but no conflict is involved.

If my boss told me to dig a hole one day and then fill it in the next, I’d just smile and say “Yes Boss, no problem”. That’s what I am being paid for. But here is the second key: if you don’t like what you are being told to do or simply can’t work with your boss: it’s also not a problem. Simply inform your boss, and move on to something else.

Settling for Less

At this point, it’s worth mentioning that the main reason that people get offended at work by “dumb” assignments is because they think they are stuck in that job. I.e., some people don’t like the work they are doing, but also don’t think they could successfully find a job they do like doing. There is a fear of letting go; they think that this “is the best they can do”.

More often than not, this idea of “settling” is a pattern that has shown up in one’s life before. What must be understood about these experiences is that they are a part of one’s life path for a purpose. Being in such a situation does not happen by chance. Instead, these are actually opportunities in order to learn and develop oneself.

Due to not properly valuing one’s self worth, a person has “settled” on a spouse, settled on a job, etc. But this pattern will continue to appear in one’s life until the self-worth issue is overcome. Until that happens, the pain of settling will continue to increase and increase until the point of a life crisis. That isn’t to say that experiencing a life crisis is a sign of failure: sometimes it is the only way to overcome the fear involved with standing up for oneself. But this also suggests that it may be possible to avoid a painful life crisis if the issues of fear and self-worth can be properly addressed before the crisis occurs.

It’s not your job

One thing I hear people complain about is that “it’s not my job” or “not in my job description”. As I’ve mentioned before, you actually only have one job. With that in mind, I have been asked what to do if the boss makes a request that a person simply cannot fulfill, for one reason or the other. Once again, this is not a problem. Simply tell the boss: “Sure, I’ll do my best, but because of these reasons it may not fit your exact requirements.” (I would also follow this up in writing if applicable, but keep the tone as positive as possible.) Whether or not your boss (outwardly) agrees with your assessment of the situation isn’t important. All that’s important is that you put your best effort into completing the task.

If you want to avoid conflict and keep your job, simply do what the boss asks you to do. If you don’t like what you’re being asked to do, then look for a job that suits you better. If you don’t think you can do what you are being asked, address your concerns with your boss in a mature manner and then do the best you can. You don’t need to settle. And there is no reason to get angry. And now you know the secret to avoiding conflicts with your boss.